Fatherhood. It’s everything and also nothing like you thought. Because let’s be honest, you didn’t expect it to feel like this.
You thought being a dad would mean joy, maybe some sleepless nights, the occasional chaos—but no one mentioned the sudden outbursts or the shame that creeps in after. Not the frustration that simmers under the surface or the guilt that makes you wonder if you're doing it all wrong.
If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. A lot of men carry unspoken weight when it comes to anger and fatherhood. The world tells you to "man up," hold it in, and stay strong—but rarely tells you how to deal with what’s going on beneath the surface.
We aren’t here to judge or tell you you're broken. Instead, in honor of you and for Father’s Day this year, we wrote this blog to offer clarity, tools, and maybe a bit of relief. Because navigating anger and dad guilt doesn’t make you a bad father, it just means you’re human. So let’s talk about it.
Yes—and in more ways than we often realize.
Many men grow up with the message that anger is the only "acceptable" emotion to show. Sad? Stuff it down. Overwhelmed? Shake it off. Hurt? Hide it. So when anger surfaces in fatherhood, no matter the cause (like exhaustion, pressure, or just trying to keep up), it can feel like both a release and a failure at the same time.
In the context of fatherhood, these challenges are amplified. The pressure to be a stoic provider can conflict with the emotional demands of parenting. When fathers suppress emotions like sadness or frustration, they may experience increased irritability or anger, affecting their relationships with their children and partners.
This emotional distance is not because you don’t care, but because you’re trying to protect your family from what you haven’t been taught to handle. It’s not a lack of love, it’s a lack of tools.
Understanding where this anger is coming from and how to work with it, not against it, is what starts to loosen the grip of guilt. It’s not about being a perfect dad; it’s about being an honest one, and that honesty starts with yourself first.
"Dad guilt" refers to the remorse fathers feel when they perceive they've fallen short in their parenting roles. This guilt can stem from moments of anger, absence due to work commitments, or feeling emotionally unavailable. Unlike the more commonly discussed "mom guilt," dad guilt is less openly acknowledged, making it harder for fathers to seek support.
Dad guilt can lead to a cycle where you strive to suppress your emotions further, fearing that expressing them might lead to more guilt-inducing situations. However, this suppression often exacerbates the problem, leading to increased stress and emotional distance from your loved ones.
But how do you stop doing that when you’re not sure what to do instead? We’ve got a few ideas:
International Men’s Health Week runs from June 9–15, 2025, and it’s a great opportunity to focus on your well-being. Chicago is hosting several events aimed at promoting men's health, and while they’re not solely focused on dads, you might want to check them out if you’re looking for other men who are interested in expanding their emotional expression skills and breaking free from emotional stigma this Men’s Health Week.
Being a dad isn't about perfection; it's about presence, growth, and resilience. If you're grappling with anger or dad guilt, know that you're not alone. If none of these community events during Men’s Health Week are your vibe, we are still here to support you. With this blog or a more personalized service, we know that men are made of multitudes too.
Taking the first step toward healthier emotional expression can make a significant difference in your life and your family's well-being. Consider reaching out to one of our clinicians here at Pure Health Center to help you take the next step. Your journey toward better health and stronger relationships starts with a single step.
