In a popular blog we shared a couple of years ago, we explored five ways you can start being your own friend because this comes up in sessions often. Those practices, like protecting your boundaries and speaking kindly to yourself, were powerful first steps in reimagining how we think about friendship and ourselves. But friendship, whether with others or with yourself, deepens over time, so we thought it was about time we revisit the topic and create space for you to grow your self-friendship skills. After all, all friendship grows through consistent attention and small choices that show you care.
If you’ve been wondering how to keep building self-compassion and emotional resilience, here are five new self-care strategies for you to add to your friendship toolkit, starting with yourself.
Each of these skills goes beyond the basics, offering practical ways to support yourself in daily life. Let’s get into it.
Small acts of care throughout the day can be just as powerful as longer practices.
Many people think resilience requires big shifts, but it often starts in small, repeatable moments. Instead of waiting for a long meditation session or a weekend retreat, you can give yourself 30 seconds to pause, breathe, and reset.
Try a “three-breath break” before meetings, or do a quick body scan in the elevator. Even these micro moments remind your nervous system that you’re safe, present, and cared for. Over time, these pauses add up to a steadier baseline of calm—one of the strongest foundations for emotional resilience.
Being outdoors is one of the simplest ways to support your well-being. You don’t need hours in the wilderness; just a few minutes getting fresh air can shift your mood and energy.
Spending time outdoors doesn’t have to mean a major hike. Simply stepping outside to feel the sun on your skin or noticing the color of the leaves on your walk can shift your mood. Researchers have found that even a few minutes of “green time” can reduce stress and improve focus.
Think of it as a gentle way of being your own friend: giving yourself permission to step away from the screen and reconnect with something bigger than your to-do list. If daily outdoor time isn’t possible, even bringing plants into your workspace or opening a window for fresh air can make a difference.
Celebrating yourself doesn’t have to be tied to major achievements or holidays. Everyday wins are just as worthy of acknowledgment.
Creating small rituals around those wins you can achieve in daily life can help you feel seen and valued. But what are those rituals, and how can you learn to recognize them? Think about wins like making your favorite tea after finishing a tough task, or writing a kind note to yourself at the end of the week.
This kind of reward isn’t about indulgence or perfection. It’s about reinforcing the idea that your efforts matter, no matter how small. These micro-celebrations nurture self-compassion and build resilience by reminding you that progress is worth noticing by creating space, time, and joy for them in your everyday life.
Rest is not a luxury; it’s a basic need. Choosing it intentionally makes a big difference in how supported you feel.
Many of us treat rest as something we “earn” once everything else is done. But part of being your own friend is honoring your need for downtime without guilt. Rest can be active when you treat it as a choice. It can look like choosing to put your phone down earlier, taking a nap, or scheduling time for quiet that is as non-negotiable as that dreaded meeting with your boss.
When you see rest as a choice instead of a weakness, you create more capacity for resilience. A well-rested mind is better able to handle stress, recover from setbacks, and show up for others.
Taking an interest in yourself opens the door to more compassionate responses. Curiosity helps you understand rather than judge your experiences.
Self-compassion isn’t just about soothing yourself. It’s also about getting to know yourself with openness and interest. Instead of judging your reactions, try asking, “What do I need right now?” or “What’s this feeling trying to tell me?”
This kind of curiosity invites a dialogue with your inner world. You might even write a letter to yourself from a “wise friend” perspective, offering encouragement or advice. Over time, this practice helps you respond to challenges with understanding instead of criticism, strengthening both self-compassion and emotional resilience.
Friendship with yourself grows through choices you make daily—pausing for a breath, stepping outside, celebrating small wins, resting with intention, and staying curious about your inner world. These practices aren’t about perfection. They’re about building a relationship with yourself that feels steady, kind, and supportive.
If you find that practicing these self-care strategies feels overwhelming or you’d like more guidance, individual therapy can provide support. A therapist can help you explore what gets in the way of self-compassion and offer personalized tools for resilience. If you’re in or near Chicago, reach out to us and we can help you find a therapist who matches your needs.
The more you practice being your own friend, the more you’ll notice how it shapes your well-being, your relationships, and your ability to handle life’s ups and downs. And like any good friendship, it’s worth investing in.
